Welp, that's all the stuff I wrote.
How did I come to write all this stuff, you ask? It wasn't easy! I had to doctor up a B.A. in Creative Writing from Carnegie Mellon University, toil away for 10+ years of writing "experience," and pay quarterly protection money to the WGAw. But alas, the stuff is truly the stuff.
If you've enjoyed anything you've seen here and think you'd like me to write stuff for you, please shoot me an email at email@example.com!